god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
