why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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