1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
smell my finger.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
