He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
