I want to make a zoo with you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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