Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We are all done wearing pants today
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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