We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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