I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize