hotel room ftw
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
