I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
