ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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