no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I love you. Go after that dick
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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