While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
