What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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