I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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