who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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