I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
