i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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