Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
