Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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