Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
