omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
only you would photoshop your dick
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i now understand why vodka
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
