I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
