I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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