All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
