Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
