Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
