I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
