So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
