So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
