I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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