Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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