I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
