Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
