i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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