Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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