All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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