i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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