I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
