He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize