I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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