Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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