we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
