i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
