My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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