I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
