I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
