I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
