Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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