Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
