My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
